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Words as lyrics
notes in the wind
percussion of branches
soft grace of the leaves
symphony in the quiet
songs of being.

-k. thompson, Songs of Being

There was a time
head pressed to a pillow
would bring despair.
Now it brings comfort of acceptance.
Finally think and be
even in bed
even in dreams.
Words build worlds
through voices and hands
creating great wonders
stories still told.

-k. thompson, Stories Still Told

My value
should not lie
in what I create
or can do.
To sit
honor the sun
watch leaves fall
breathe
to savor a moment
appreciate all the beauty
is a life well done.

-k. thompson, excerpt from a work in progress

Choosing Gratitude

Staying grateful, especially during the hard times, is not easy. When it feels like the world is crushing you it’s really hard to even find a breath to say, “Hey! Thanks for this!”

Some days, I have to choose gratitude. It’s especially important that I choose gratitude on the days I don’t feel it. For me, choosing gratitude is the first step of the transmutation from negative energy to positive. You have to make that choice to go down that path of gratitude. Like I said, it’s not always easy.

For me, choosing gratitude has been about survival. I deeply believe that anyone dealing with hard things has the absolute right to feel any which way about it - positive or negative. You cannot fully process what you encounter without embracing the grief, anger, and dismay that may come with it. I think a lot of people would be able to better process some of the things they endure if they were allowed to openly express that something is indeed painful or difficult, and have that acknowledged by others. Then, one can choose a better path to move on to.

We all go through hard things. Why do we pretend that we don’t? I can only guess for perceived strength. Perhaps ableist in origin, even. People may think they will be viewed as weak if they openly admit something is troubling them.

If only people could see the real strength is in that vulnerability, in opening up and asking for help. That takes just as much strength as climbing a metaphorical mountain.

So what am I grateful for this year? I am grateful that despite my neuropathy developing in my dominant arm which was my last unaffected limb, that I can still write these words to you.

I must admit I’ve had my world rocked a time or two over the past few years, but realizing that my time as a maker is being cut shorter than I wanted is crushing. On top of that, it’s not just my work I am grieving, but also my independence. Every day tasks such as brushing my teeth, or ones that I really love such as baking for my family, are slowly becoming more and more difficult.

Despite this I am truly grateful, because these changes are showing me that I have so many things that I need to adapt and succeed already. I have a wonderful partner, supportive family and a community that understands the challenges that I face daily as a meningitis and spinal cord injury survivor. I find the true success in achievement in my life through my failures - my failing limbs, my cognitive challenges. They’ve helped me to adapt, grow, and become a better person. In an ironic way, this path is made for someone who always has to have something to strive for.

For me, success is determined by how fully one is able to embrace and experience life each and every day. For some of us there will always be limitations mentally, physically, even spiritually. Setting the intention to seek and embrace joy in everything you do is a choice we all can make. Choosing gratitude in the face of all of the pain and hardship is one of the bravest and most rewarding things we can do. Even if you’re someone who thrives off of spite - being joyful is still great way to do that.

I hope that you choose gratitude and feel joy in everything you do, especially in spite of the hardship, pressures and darkness that can often surround us. We are the lights we seek, the lights we need. Honor the magic that is you.

Thank you for your being.

Katie T.

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